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Life Coaches
"Life Coaches" is the eighth episode of the third season and the 28th overall. Summary Steve, Frank, Pony and Baby Cakes become life coaches for each other as the Dean tries to step up his checkers game. Plot As the Dean gripes upon losing a checkers game with the Mayor, Steve tries to break up with Quimberly, his girlfriend of roughly two weeks. Later, in the history office with Baby Cakes and Frank, Pony points out the possibility of him, her and the Smiths being life coaches, i.e., giving advice to one another and pressuring the compliance of it. Later, when Steve gives haphazard advice, Pony assumes that it means she should check a therapist despite Steve trying to disprove her claim. Though she pretends to be taking it well, she voices her true, negative emotion toward this as she tries to counsel Frank. As a first step, she destroys his hoard house, hoping to make him be perceived as cooler than Steve as Frank requests. Seeing Baby Cakes' living style, including the aforementioned defecation in potted plants, Frank hypocritically scoffs, but Baby Cakes claims that the defecation is necessary to stop a "horrible villain," i.e., the Easter Bunny, away from the school. Feeling the need that someone should do the defecating, Baby Cakes pressures Steve to take his place in this activity lest the Easter Bunny make an appearance. Meanwhile, after losing a game of checkers to the Mayor, the Dean sneaks into Matt's room and sedates him, taking his brain afterward. Entering Leonard's laboratory, the Dean evaluates the brain but doesn't find anything that will help him with checkers. Meanwhile, Pony visits a therapist, speaking negatively of Steve, but the therapists feels this may be due to the death of her early husband and that she may not be properly dealing with her grief over this. Exiting after her appointment ends, she advises Frank to get his hair cut and his bear shaved. Steve proceeds toward a potted plant ready to defecate but then decides to use the restroom, certain that Baby Cakes won't find out as the Dean searches for potential targets whose brains contain checkers knowledge. Walking out, Steve finds the Easter Bunny appear out of thin air, and when it sees a potted plant free from excrement, it runs amok around campus. At night, the Dean walks around, carrying all the brains he harvested and complaining that none of them contain anything that will help his checkers game. As the Dean harvests Quimberly's brain and gets the same results, Leonard creates synthetic brains for the victims of the Dean's brain spree. Meanwhile, Pony continues ranting about Steve to her therapist, but she's taken to a mental hospital when it seems once more that she's hiding her grief over her husband's death. Frank visits the History Channel's headquarters, seeking a TV special under its name, but the interview is interrupted by the Easter Bunny, who continues running amok as Baby Cakes and Steve chase after it. Afterward, the Dean is informed that the checkers rematch with the Mayor is the next day. He reveals that he now knows checkers thanks to one person's brain—the Mayor's—and in a mental asylum, Pony's stay is interrupted by the Easter Bunny, whom she promptly attacks. Her exclamations show that, deep down, she really does grieve the loss of her husband, admitting that she married him too early in life, but still misses him nonetheless. Baby Cakes an the Smiths arrive to witness the attack and her confession, surprised faces all around. In a canoe, the four carry the Easter Bunny, ready to dump it. Steve confesses to Pony that his real advice for her is to leave the school and town, and that the reason he didn't tell her is because he never wants to lose her. As she sulks, the others dump the Easter Bunny in the lake, and afterward, the Dean arrives with a mentally-handicapped Mayor, ready for the rematch. Baby Cakes and the Smiths go for a walk and see this game, and while Steve prepares to talk with Quimberly, the Dean is just about to make the winning move. Jesus Christ descends from heaven, wondering where the Easter Bunny went as it's his friend. Following a white lie from Pony, who apparently is staying in China despite Steve's advice, Jesus prepares for departure, but beforehand, he gives everyone affected their brains back and gives everyone on campus free food and drinks. As the Mayor wins the rematch due to this, Quimberly breaks up with Steve, overcoming her apparent mentally-challenged phase. Shaking it off as the Power of Christ, Steve notices Pony's decision to stay, and the two enter a skirmish as to whether or not friends should make decisions for each other. Trivia * Frank mentions wanting a History Channel special, previously voicing this in "Baby Boom" and "The Diamond Castle" and gets one in "Best Face Forward". * Pony is revealed to have a husband named Johnny who died. They married just after high school to her disapproval, as she claims to be relieved after his death, though she concedes that she misses him. * After attacking the Easter Bunny, Pony claims "she's a brown widow," meaning her last name if be Brown if she just revealed her original surname. However, she may have simply made a reference to the black widow spider, so it's currently unknown what her surname was. * Pony's mother pressures her to get married in "Surfer God", evidently unaware that she was briefly married to Johnny. * Steve evidently only dates women for two weeks, which explains his vast number of sexual relations from "Displays of Manhood". * When the Easter Bunny begins his rampage, behind him is a bulletin board, which sheds light onto the potted plants being defecated on as well as informing about a Dungeons & Dragons game. Continuity is illustrated when Pony is shown to be banned from the game, which happened in "Displays of Manhood". * Frank is shown to be a hoarder until his hoard house is burned down courtesy of Pony. * The events toward the end of the episode were foreshadowed in the beginning. Quotes :Steve: Got to stop dating people for their looks. ---- :Baby Cakes: I try not to look up so I won't break the fourth wall of God's TV. ---- :Baby Cakes: Who is he, by the way? :Frank: Chris Brown is a cannibal who eats people in parked cars. ---- :Steve: No! I screwed up...somehow. ---- :Easter Bunny: the school with its eggs Territory marked! Territory marked! ---- :Quimberly: Organic? :The Dean: Checkers? ---- :The Dean: Don't judge a brain by its cover! ---- :The Dean: through the brain of Quimberly No checkers? Is this a game that no one plays? ---- :Frank: You're still just a lobotimized Shrek. ---- :Easter Bunny rampages through UCI :Flip Flop: brain in action Easter Bunny! laughs :Baby Cakes: egged by the Easter Bunny Steve, you dumb motherfucker! ---- :Pony: Thought police! Thought police! ---- :Steve: Frank! I didn't shit right! ---- :Pony: the Easter Bunny You die! :Easter Bunny: Please stop! :Pony: Fuck you! Fuck you! I will fucking kill you! ---- :Baby Cakes: the above incident She's a Chris Brown. :Pony Merks: No, I'm a brown widow. ---- :Matt: brain in action Checkers is dumb game! ---- :Frank: I cannot believe the Easter Bunny is real. :Baby Cakes: Hey, sometimes a thing is; it just isn't to you. ---- Characters Appearing *Baby Cakes *Billy *Chris Brown *Cinn-a-Mon *Cravid *Debra *Easter Bunny *Flip Flop *Frank *God (mentioned) *Gwen *Jesus Christ *Kim *Leonard *Leslie *Marie Claire *Matt *Mr. Attack *Mrs. Attack *Pemsy *Pony *Quimberly *Spider *Stacy Megan *Steve *Sunshine *Sweater Beard *The Dean *The Mayor *Trouble Bubble Gallery Category:Episodes Category:Season 3